corporate speak translation challenge

hey, gang. i've had to try to appear busier than usual at work lately.

I received this from my boss, addressed to the 5 person management team:

"I’d venture to say right now some of the reps are unclear on what to do for their sales audits. Do we have written procedures on how to complete a sales audit? If so, we can present to the team and enact this rule. If not, let’s get them together and move forward. This needs to be done prior to the new incentive so everyone can hit the ground running."
translation in black- use your Yes/Know invisible ink pen to reveal the correct answer:
Frank, write up procedures for how to do sales audits and train everyone.

I find this kind of indirect communication maddening and this is a 2 on a scale of 1-10 of how vague communications usually are. It's frustrating when suggestions are just thrown out there when they really mean "please do this".

I hate the BS fake teams that corporations try to present as an operating model. That squishy "we" concept seems to create the most problems- is this task to be done by me or in collaboration with others?

whew, i feel a little better.

Friday feelgood song of the week: "Black Sabbath" by Black Sabbath

What is this that stands before me?
How can you not get chills hearing the tritone or Diabolus in Musica played by necromancer Tony Iommi? Perfect Devil's Night music.

MK Ultra reunion photos

My bud Jenn Leis has posted some artsy undt fartsy photos of the MK Ultra reunion show in Chicago earlier this month here

There is inexplicably yet another new band called MK Ultra (there are several before and after us, I guess. We received a nice cease and desist letter from John Vanderslice years ago and complied mostly) We're not responsibly for their dumbass graffiti.

The reunion show was very successful, blah blah blah

Lee Hazelwood and Nancy Sinatra "Some Velvet Morning"

Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazelwood
by scootaway

you know what? this week has sucked. how abouta real feel bad song.

Friday feelgood song of the week: "Just like Heaven (live)" by The Cure (1990)

i had a dream about Inglourious Basterds

... I had a dream that I bought Shosanna's (Melanie Laurent) hat from this movie on eBay. No more vanilla ice cream before bed.

Ghost World

Ghost World (2001) via loveyourchaos

Buscemi's Seymour is one of my all time favorite characters. He's interesting, fleshed out and real, sympathetic and pathetic. Unfortunately, I can see a lot of myself in him.

previous posts: Favorite Movies: Ghost World